Tomorrow is the day I say goodbye to the "girls"

Well tomorrow is the day. I have to get up at 4am to get to the hospital at 5:30am for check in. I'm still awake because my anal self had to get the house organized and under control before I'm down for the count. I'm very nervous, it's finally hit me. I really don't want to do this, I don't want to go through the emotional and physical pain. I know I have to though. I will not get cancer and leave my girls if I can help it so this is a must! Donna is here now to watch the girls, she also had a double mastectomy 10 years ago so she has been such a wonderful help to me. I know my family will be in great hands and so will I when I get home from the hospital. I should probably go to bed now since my alarm will be going off in 4 hours, I will update as soon as I'm able on how I am. I know people don't understand why my mom had to die, but sometimes I believe God has a much bigger plan. I would have never got tested if she was alive which means I would have been going through the same treatments as her in a few years. She is gone but I am determined to not take life for granted and to do whatever I can to prevent this disease so I can be there for my little family. If I end up getting sick after all, at least I know I did everything I could to try and prevent it. So even though my mom can't be there to hold my hand, she will be with me and I know she is so glad I am doing this. I miss that great, hilarious, neat freak woman every day of my life. I just hope I can be as loving, knee slapping funny, giving as she was. (I already inherited her list making, clean freak trait) :) So wish me good luck and let's hope the get the iv in on the first try haha (never gonna happen!)