Surgery time has come again.. to fix my broken boobs!

Yeah that's right... I broke my boobs! ha! Around a month ago I noticed you could actually see a little part of my implant through my skin. I went to my doctor and asked him about it and he said that my muscle and tissue he sewed together separated. The tissue is there to cover the implant where the muscle doesn't fully cover it. He thinks I could have over did it by being a mom too soon and separated it. A few weeks after that I noticed it on the other side too! So he needs to go in and redo my implant surgery. He said it will be a tough surgery (more like the initial mastectomy because of the extensive repair work he has to do) bummer! So tomorrow I go in for a 3 hour surgery to fix the tear on each side. This time I am going to actually take it easy for the full amount of time tells me to so this doesn't happen again! Today I have a lot of things to do around my house but I decided to play and snuggle with my girls while I can and do everything tonight (run around like a chicken with my head cut off) but oh well, it's worth it because my girls are way too cute! :) AJ isn't being let off work tomorrow like we had planned so he can't be with me before or wait during my surgery, which sucks! But I am lucky to have a very good friend Cyndi who is going to come with me. She will hang with me until I go under and she is going to wait during my surgery. I hope everyone is blessed with friends like this. AJ said he is planning on being there before I wake up, lets hope he can! It's so frustrating! The girls will be with my grandma and my cousin Ashlee is going over there to play with them as well so they will have a fantastic day! Everything else has been going pretty well. My grandpa (my mom's dad) had a cancerous tumor removed a few weeks ago and goes in next monday to find out when he has to start radiation. I really hope he can wait until after Christmas but we will see. I'm pretty sick of the C word in our family. I hope all these surgeries will make my chances of cancer really diminish so that my family can quit having to deal with more cancer. blah! I'd like to ask you to all pray for my grandpa that his cancer won't return (that they did in fact get it all) and that my surgery goes smoothly and that AJ can make it there as soon as possible because I know it is really stressing him out. I need everything to go ok so I can rest, heal and then be a mom again because these girls grow so darn fast! I have 3 weeks until Christmas so I hope I can heal up and make my girl's Christmas as magical as my mom always made mine :) I'll update as soon as I can on how everything went.. I probably need to stop cage fighting so I don't break anything else this time! haha

Surgery #2 is Done!

I went in for outpatient surgery yesterday. They removed my breast expanders from under my muscle and put in gel implants. Then they took fat from my stomach and grafted it around the implants to make them look more realistic. I am sooo bruised. I'm wearing a compression garment around my stomach right now to try and minimize swelling and bruising. I'm not sure how long I have to wear it but it is protecting my tummy from being kicked by one of my children haha. I don't know how people can get lipo for fun, that hecka hurts! Lol. I am making a follow up appt for Monday today and hopefully he can shine some light on how long it will take to heal. My foobs (fake boobs lol) are finally not as hard as rocks! I would hurt rylie or AJ when I would hug them so having normal foobs again is so great! I am in some pain right now which is why I have been up since 4am, thank goodness for chick flicks! :) I have at least 1 more, possibly 2 more surgeries until my reconstruction is complete. They have to use more fat to graft and graft some skin from my stomach but I might wait a while until I don't have to carry Audrey because I will be down for quite a while like my first surgery and right now that would be way too hard. But I am getting there slowly but surely! I didn't have to get drains this time, almost but he decided against it. I was bleeding a lot more then the average person. He asked AJ if I took ibuprofen this week (which I had not) I just bled for some reason and bruised insanely a lot! But if you just barely touch me, I immediately bruise like a peach! (so there is no surprise that happened.) It was 3 months to the day since this all first started which was actually pretty quick! Some women took 3 to 4 months in fills alone, not including the wait time for 6 weeks I did before I got my 2nd surgery. I just had him fill me 120ccs in each side each time to get it over with. The last fill was 180ccs and I was in a lot of pain for at least 3 days but it was worth it to get it done quicker! The implants that he put in we're 750ccs. To those of you who understand sizes you might think that is huge. For women who get implants that large look like Heidi Montag (she is 700ccs) but her implants were under her existing breast tissue and fat, I don't have any. My implants are under my muscle otherwise they would just fall out if they were on top of my muscle like women who just have regular implants. So basically, since I don't have fat on top, my 750ccs are not ginormous, they are big but fit my frame really well since I am 5'9". My plastic surgeon placed them in me and moved the table while I was in surgery upward so he could decide which ones look best on me. It's crazy how much surgery has changed and how it's advanced! He is a wonderful surgeon with awesome beside manor! If anyone in Reno ever needs an amazing plastic surgeon, please ask me and I will give you his info! Rylie asked me yesterday before surgery why I do this. I told her that my boobs were going to make me sick so they had to get rid of them. AJ explained that they made her grandma Lori sick which is why she is in the sky in heaven and we didn't want mommy leaving so the doctors are fixing me. She is one smart 3 year old who actually grasps what we are saying, maybe not completely but she did agree that I needed to let the doctors fix me because she doesn't want me to leave her. That all reminded me why I'm going trough this pain, for my babies! All in all the surgery went well and I'm doing good so far. I just took some pain meds so I'm falling asleep while writing this so I better go! I just wanted to make sure everyone was in the loop because with all this going on, I didn't get to text or call everyone. AJ did that for me so I didn't know who he contacted haha. Oh well he tried and has been awesome through this recent surgery. Him and my dad too me to sushi last night on the way home from my surgery. I almost fell asleep in my soy sauce but AJ held on to me. He also fed me when my arms hurt too much... Now that's love! :) I think what makes all this easier for me is the amazing support system I have. Great friends and family and that makes me a very lucky girl. Thank you to all of you wonderful people in my life, I appreciate the kind words etc more then you all could know!

First Expander Fill!

Today I got my first expander fill and it went very well. It felt way weird because the needle was so big and it had to go through my muscle into the expander. They use a magnet over my chest to find the port, once they do he wipes it with iodine and then puts the very large needle into my boob. He filled me with one syringe and then hooked up the next. He filled me with 120cc's of saline in each side so now I have a grand total of 470cc's in each side. I have another fill appointment in 2 weeks and the another 2 weeks after that (the day before my birthday). I'm hoping that might be all the fills in need and then I can wait for a bit (hopefully a month) and then get my 2nd surgery to swap out the expanders for gel implants! A lot of women have to go to the doctor to get filled for a few months to get as many cc's as I am going to get but my surgeon likes to fill me up as much a possible each time to get it over quicker. (I guess it looks bettwr as well when its not drawn out) For instance, most women start with 100 to 150cc's after their initial surgery and then get 50-100cc's of saline at each fill. If my doctor did that I would only be at 200cc's currently and I'm almost at 500. So I am thankful he likes to get it done! I am blessed with my mom's very high pain tolerance because I'm handling this all very well. I currently have a cold so I took some ibuprofen to help me sleep but I'm really not in any pain at all. In fact, it's more comfortable to me to be full then when it gets stretched out because then my expanders shift and not only is it awkward that my boobs are lopsided from moving the wrong way (ha) but it can also hurt. Last night my expander kept jamming into my rib cage so I had to keep pushing it up, it looks like I'm constantly fondling myself but I'm really just trying to get comfortable haha. I apologize to whoever I am around and let them know I'm just trying to put my boobs (or "foobs" fake boobs) back in place so I don't look like "Blinkin" from Robin Hood Men In Tights. If you have seen it you might remember the scene when they dress up in disguises like women and Blinkin, who is blind, has very lopsided boobs. Little John looks at him and says "Blinkin, fix your boobs! You look like a bleedin Picasso!" yep, that's me! Haha (not that bad but the definitely move!)
All in all today was a success! I'm feeling very good (minus the cold) and I was given the ok to hold Audrey. I do get sore pretty quick because if you have ever held her you would know she beats the crap out of you! Lol I'm glad I can hold her though because she has her first cold/fever and it's not pleasant. She just wants her mom or dad so it's nice I can try to comfort her. I'm going on my first camping trip with my new foobs so let's hope all goes well and I don't fall on them and get a flat tire :). It has been suggested I fill them with air instead of saline, (by my loving family) so they are lighter but I think helium would be better because then I could float away like the old man in Up! Haha The things I think about late at night... Lol Good night all!!
(below is a picture I took of the very large needles used to fill me up.) :)

Goodbye drains!

All my drains are out! Yay!! It is so not fun getting them taken out but they are gone so I'm happy! I get to take a real shower tomorrow and I can't tell you how exciting that is. After going to the doctor we needed to run into Walmart for things like dog food, etc necessities and I was going to have AJ drop me off at home and take Audrey to the store but we live far from everything so I said screw it I'll go with you. I was doing really well but all of a sudden I started feeling nauseas (I've felt sick to my stomach all morning for some reason). It just got super strong so I told AJ to hurry it up. Then with every step I started feeling pain. I wasn't going to push any further so I said screw it and took the keys and went to the car. It was such a bummer because I've been stuck inside for a week and a half and getting out for just a bit sounded nice but I can't do it yet I guess. I'm going to go home, have something quick to eat, take some pain pills and crash out. I guess you need to appreciate the small things! So when you get in the shower, be glad you can, and that you are able to reach up and wash your hair without problems... I'm definitely not taking the small things for granted anymore! Yay for showers, as much as I loved getting sponge baths from everyone (ha! Right) I'm glad I'm done with that!!

It's been 1 week since surgery

Today I woke up in a lot of pain. I have been trying to get off of my pain meds and just take ibuprofen here and there. I have been setting an alarm at night to wake myself up and take some pain medication. Last night I didn't. I woke up this morning unable to move. AJ saw my face and immediately pulled me into a sitting position and gave me my prescription paid meds. I couldn't believe it's been a week and I feel like I am getting worse. Its not that I am actually getting worse, its that I'm on less pain medication so I'm feeling more. Unlike most surgeries, I won't start feeling better as time goes on. When people go through surgery, a week passes, 2 weeks pass and you slowly feel better. I will be able to do more but for months I will have pain. Thats what happens when you opt for reconstruction. During surgery Dr. Janiga (plastics) put in expanders under my breast muscles. He put in saline solution to start the expansion process. He put in more then he usually does at this step for a couple reasons, he felt that I could handle it and he wanted to get a jump start on my reconstruction process. This is used to stretch the muscle and skin so they can put the implants in (in a few months). Most of the skin over the breast muscle is numb but around it is so sensitive to the touch. Shirts hurt so bad against my skin. It feels like I have an extremely bad burn. My chest feels so tight. It feels like a super tight corset is around my chest while an elephant is sitting on it. I will go in and get my first fill (well 2nd but first after surgery) in a week or so and it will feel even tighter. This process is going to go on for a couple months and I am so unsure how I will handle constant pain. I am blessed to have a very high pain threshold, Rylie's 9 lb natural birth still holds the record for the worst pain I've ever been in (ha!), but this is constant for a very long period of time so it can be unnerving. I will be able to do it and every time I have severe pain I close my eyes, breath and picture my girl's faces (its amazing how they can always make me smile). If you have had the pleasure of being around them you know why. :) My drains currently make the pain a lot worse so I think I need to go back on my prescription meds until I hopefully get them out on Wednesday. It's hard to sit back and watch other people run my house and care for my kids. Its been pretty hard on AJ, he has been trying to juggle the girls, the house, meals and school (he is off work this week) and yesterday I thought I was going to run away from home but today went a lot more smooth. :)
Next step.. get drains removed! Lets hope it happens Wednesday!!

Drains.. How I hate thee!

Well I am getting 2 drains out in a little over 24 hours and I'm counting down each hour! I was able to have a sponge bath tonight which was sure better then nothing. It was not fun though, Shampoo was all that I could handle I said screw the conditioner I'm done! Lol I have to wait 2 weeks to get the other 2 out but at least I'm losing 2 on Friday. I have pockets in my shirt to hold my drains which is great but it can still snag on stuff. Donna was emptying my drains and by accident pulled on my tube, we both screamed and were scared to look and sighed in relief when we realized it was still stitched into my body haha. Picture 4 grenade drain stuffed under my shirt. I'm a lumpy mess, Rylie kept looking up my shirt to see if I had another baby in there. I said no baby and she said oh just fat then? Haha no Rylie, drains but thanks for the self esteem boost! Lol. Kids make my day! My friend Cyndi brought over Spaghetti and salad for dinner tonight, it was delicious. I had her stay and eat because I haven't seen her in so long and it was nice to visit with her. We also got cookies from my neighbor Amanda which was super nice and delicious! She was a nurse in my recovery so if I have any questions I can just run next door, so nice. I'm such a lucky duck :) Oh my Pathology report came back and it's all cancer free!! Fantastic news! Well good night all let's hope I get some pain free sleep, having sweet dreams about upcoming days without drains! Lol

I'm free!

Well I'm home! I skipped out of jail and get to be with my family! I'm handing the pain much better then I expected. I'm doing it with pain meds of course but it's manageable. I finally stopped vomiting and kept breakfast down today which is big. I always did have lots of practice with throwing up though (thanks to my 2 lovely daughters). I was told I get my 2 drains out for sure on Friday. I will have to ask Dr. Janiga (my plastic surgeon) when I can pick up Audrey, hopefully by week 4 because I will be back on my own by then. I have a couple family members who said they would help thank goodness. He said nothing more then 10 lbs but my chunk is like 14 or 15, maybe I should just quit feeding her so she doesn't get any bigger! Haha just kidding. I was so happy to see my girls at home. Rylie made me a card and Audrey was my cute smiley baby. She rolled over for the first time while I was gone of course. I'm super excited that she did though what a big girl! Well that's all that is happening for now, Rylie keeps telling me she will be super gentle with me since I have a booboo. She had Donna preform surgery on her yesterday, she loves doctor stuff and surgery, she's my little surgeon. I'll write again soon when I have an update, for now I'm going to sleep. :)